


Defeated

by Temper_Tantrum



Series: Broken Analogy [2]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1761033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Temper_Tantrum/pseuds/Temper_Tantrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He cries. Because he is defeated. Because he destroyed something so good and so beautiful. He cries because he knows that one he will no longer hold the other as strong as he does now. And so he cries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Defeated

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sky_fish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_fish/gifts).



> Originally posted [here](http://flyingf1sh.livejournal.com/16702.html).

**Defeated**

Nino didn't know what brought him to this point.

One moment, they were in love.

The next, they spitting fire at each other.

And soon after, Sho searches him out and apologizes. Even if half the time, it's not his fault in the first place. But he accepts.

Because even if he's considered a slimy little foul troll, he's not stupid. No. Ninomiya Kazunari was not stupid. He was all things but stupid.

So when Sho apologizes, he takes it and they start anew.

But he knew this time it was different.

It was that time in their relationship, the part where they're irritated with each other's presence.

They were like a Pheonix. It's a never ending cycle. They kiss and make up, then they grow into each other before they bicker and fight and it goes back to square one. They kiss and make up. Often times, it's literal.

He knew what started it.

He knows he's over reacting. He knows the jealousy is stupid, he's always jealous about stupid things.

He knows Sho knows that he's really insecure. And Sho's trying his best not to rub salt on an open wound, but he's an idol. Of course, he's going to. 

Not intentionally, but he will---he does.

The way Ohno glances at them, quite literally strokes fire in him. Rage.

He knows Riida likes it when Sho fusses over him. He knows that Riida likes to tease Sho. He knows Riida is pretending to the general public that he's okay if he and Sho are together, for the good of fanservice. He knows and knows and knows, but doesn't quite help the fact that it's HIS BOYFRIEND he's flirting with. It's HIS BOYFRIEND, he's undressing with his eyes. It's HIS BOYFRIEND that he's molesting.

It's **HIS**. God damn it all.

So, yes. Nino knows he started it.

He expected to follow him after the worst fight yet.

He fumes and watches everyone clear the way while stalks. Nino thinks he made a Junior cry.

So when 10 minutes pass, he expects Sho to appear, apologize and they would go back to square one.

When a looming shadow covers his small form hunched at the corner of the emergency stairwell, he was fully expecting Sho's heavy sigh. That's how he always starts. But when he hears a different sigh, one he's quite familiar with but not expecting.

**_He knows it was finally over._ **

"Jun" he greets. He doesn't look up, because if he does, he could face the headstrong sadistic diva and burst into tears.

Because damn it! He did love Sho. No. That's wrong.

He **DOES** love Sho. And he was the reason why Sho's not here right now.

He pushed him too far back that Sho couldn't follow fast enough. It was all his fault that the beautiful thing they had was over.

**Over.**

"Nino..." Jun starts, but stops, not really knowing where to begin.

"I know, J." He replies, tired and worn out. Because, really, he does. He hurt Sho more than he could've imagined.

The fight escalated much too quickly. Ended up with him giving out the last say.

A very, very painful last say.

++++

' _You do your parent's so **proud** , Sho-chan, fucking up since birth till now. Isn't it wonderful that their eldest son deviated from family tradition and followed this career path?_'

' _Nino._ ' Jun warned, but he didn't listen.

' _And now, the man that was supposed to be eldest and who was supposed to carry out the family name, isn't married. Who won't marry and won't have a happy family_.' Nino continued, watching with vindictive glee how Sho's face pale with every word. ' _Because really, who would expect an idol to have a family? What woman would stay long enough once they realize how restraint their lives were?_ '

Sho opened his mouth to retort, but he wasn't finished. ' _How **proud** your parents must be Sho, to know their eldest son, their first love, was being fucked by man. Do you think they'll send us roses when they find out?_ '

' _NINO!_ ' Riida all but yelled. ' _Enough_.'

Nino sneered his way. ' _Oh fuck off Riida, I know how much you want me out of the way to fuck him yourself._ '

Riida's eyes glowed in anger, a dangerous sign. But Nino was too far gone to care. ' _I'm warning you, Kazu. Enough._ '

Nino was about to retort but Riida's eyes grew soft and old. He turned his attention back to Sho, who wouldn't even look at him.

' _Disgusting. You two are disgusting._ ' He said, his eyes still brimming in anger. ' _You're not even denying it._ '

' _Fuck you, Sakurai. Fuck you for being so perfect. Fuck you_ ' he spat and stormed out the room. Bumping into Aiba and Jun, who jostled the tray of coffee. Ignoring, their annoying squawks.

_Fuck you._

++++

"...we should go back." Jun finally said. The awkward silence finally getting to him. Nino gave a tired sigh. "Okay."

Jun snorted. "Usually, you'd be a brat about this."

Nino gave an unamused snort, even if his lips were tugged into a smile of some sort. "Usually. But today's not one of my usuals."

Jun didn't comment. That's the great thing about J. With all the little things and even near death experiences, expect the diva to go rant mode. However, when it comes to relationships and emotions and fights. He keeps things to himself. Especially when he knows you know you're at fault.

"Let's go." Nino said, Jun just shrugged. "Aiba-shi keeping people away from the stairs?"

Jun snorts. "You know us too well."

Nino gives him a rueful smile. "You're relationship is a hierarchy between his master and his pet."

Jun rolled his eyes as he opened the door. "And yours is a tug-of-war with your side winning." Nino snorted. That might be true, but today, he was finally letting go of the rope.

"You okay?" Jun asked when approached Aiba (who somehow was wearing some weird orange jumpsuit). Nino snorted. "You shouldn't be asking me that."

"Riida's with Sho-chan, he'll be okay." Aiba told him. For one second, Nino saw red but let it go. He gave a tired sigh. "You two will be okay." Aiba continued and stared at his partner. "Wouldn't they?"

Jun smacked the elder on the head. "Of course they will be." He turned to Nino. "Won't you?

Nino rolled his eyes at their antics. "Yeah." We'll be fine.

**Eventually.**

++++

Jun took one last glance at Nino before opening the door with a smug expression. Nino trailed behind him meekly, Aiba looking worried as he followed the two.

Then Jun pauses, causing Nino stop and look up. His eyes widened as he took in Sho's form.

**Defeated**.

That was the only way he could ever describe Sho at that moment. He ignored the way Sho's hand was held tightly by Ohno, because they weren't like that. At least... _not yet_.

He walked forward, his mind made up. If Sho didn't chase him down, Nino knew he pushed him too far back.

Too far for him to even gave chase.

Almost like, he pushed him too far and was now dangling off a cliff.

And all he needed to do now was push one more time, let him be fall into the ocean.

"Sho-chan..." he started, noting how Riida's hands tightened. Ah. At least, he wasn't a fool. Riida knew where this conversation was headed. He took a quick glance and his eyes met their Leader. Their silent communication takes only less than a second.

He quickly diverted them back to Sho's. "Let's break up."

There.

He let go.

He ignored the burning pain and the heart wrenching sensation as Sho gave that defeated laugh, a sign that he was slowly loosing it. His laughter slowly turning into sobs. He wasn't going to give in just yet. He had to wait for Sho's approval to leave and let it be over.

Because even though he screwed up this relationship, he was definitely not screwing up this last part of the cycle.

Finally the Pheonix cycle ends.

"Fuck you, Ninomiya. Fuck you." Sho croaked out in between his sobs. That's all it took for him to leave the room and walk slowly down the halls.

He finally released the rope.

He finally pushed him over the ledge.

The ocean will do him good.

It was better than dangling from a thread.

It didn't matter that he just let his heart be broken.

It doesn't matter that his love for Sho was true.

It didn't matter that they were beautiful together, because of course they were.

What mattered was that he faced reality and stood strong.

Even if he crumpled down by the emergency stair ways, sobbing his hear out. Screw you people if you see him.

Because right now it hurts.

It hurts too much to think about reality.

It's so hard to face reality. So hard to let go when that was the best option among the rest.

Reality was such a bitch. And letting go was the hardest thing.

So he cried.

Because right now, his love for the other was still so fresh. In time, the love will remain, because honestly, it never really goes away but it wouldn't have this strong a hold on him.

Yet for now. He cries.

Because he is defeated. Because he destroyed something so good and so beautiful. He cries because he knows that one he will no longer hold the 

other as strong as he does now.

He cries and cries hard and loud.

He cries because by the end of the day, he has only himself to blame.

So he cries.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you liked this fic, feel free to browse [here](jaricchi.livejournal.com/4014.html) for more!


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